Saturday, May 9, 2015

Blush a little more fellas :)

I love to use the word "blush".. May be because I tend to blush a lot and moreover, I am quick to know when somebody else blushes too :)
So why this " blush" talk in the middle of a full moon night ?

Well... I don't know about others. .but I love midnight showers in hot tubs..with music...dim light and soothing sensuous aroma all around me... Many a times even a big hot tub is inspiring enough for me to head into the bath in late night or wee hours ...
Tonight was one of such instances.... One of my top favourites of my Dubai stay is my big tub in here and the lovely hot shower :) so after a tough week that was swamped with work and a weekend that started with an ill me...I just felt my inner self calling out to me for some "me time pampering"...
Randomly I just put on play one of Kishore kumar's multiple jukeboxes available on youtube...and let the pleasure of the shower soak me in ...
And then when in the midst of the shower I was doing my own saira banu gimmicks.. The song that suddenly plays is what made me scribble all this about " blush"... The song was -any guesses? :)

...roop tera mastana...pyar mera deewana..bhool koi humse na hojae...

The filmy me blushed instantly :) I wish there were many such Kishore kumars :) I so wish I was born in an era of Kishore kumar...Audrey Hepburn...Vivien Leigh :) the graceful classic era...
Yeah yeah yeah....so many emotions ..so many thoughts....hardly linked...except the fact that they all originated in the brain of a current day saira banu or Audrey howsoever you may like to call me ;) the world will be prettier if we all learn to smile little more....love little more...blush little more :) gracias !!!!

Monday, April 20, 2015

My Review of "Faraway Music" by Sreemoyee Piu Kundu



She held my hand and took me along
Where I was not told that others are right and I am wrong…
We sat near the fire…cosy with a coffee…
And she told me my story as if it was not mine 

Well…that’s just something which Sreemoyee did to me through her Faraway Music… 
 Was it my story? The same characters? The same plot? No, not really… the plot was different, so were the characters, the names and the places… still there was a familiarity which just could not be missed… 
To tell you about the book and the story…well….the creation just is so beautiful that one can’t help but fall in love with the time spent with it…Pick the book and you are greeted with a sensuous lady just next to the title “Faraway Music” … and at once, you are transported to a land where there are no rules, no restrictions, only love and desire with melodious notes of music in the background… And then as you turn over the pages, you realise it’s not some story of a wonderland but yeah, definitely a wonderful story of a woman…a woman who has dreams to work for, confidence to make the dreams come true and courage to persist till the victory sign flashes for her…. but that never means she doesn’t wish to be liked, wanted, loved and adored. The story revolves around Piya...her journey from a girl to a woman, from crushes to infatuation to a harmony between love and lust…from her desire to be wanted to the pride of being wanted. Piya is someone who never let the society or fate decide things for her….she made her choices boldly, be it right or wrong…after all how it matters when the journey is eventful all along… The story is beautifully woven around the myriad nature of human emotions, relationships and their manifestations in several forms… it’s a story to be drunk slowly, relished till the last drop and cherished when it has gone all the way to your heart.'

Indeed...

Books - I call them my friends :)

When you start blogging after a long time, it's easy to be confused or well..that's how I wish to think it's like :) So, I thought why not start by writing about very simple things- my views on them- what I feel about them ..so here I go... I am going to tell you about my magical love affair with books :)

So, of late I have been coming across several fellas who got nothing to do with books and I find it hard to understand how do they manage !!! I love books and wouldn't ever like to live without them .You ask me why I love books ? I can go on and on :)

The first dear friends..

When I was a little kid, I had to stay home all alone as both my parents were working and there was no other living soul to give me company. And that was when Mom introduced me to books..books with stories ..books with poems... I instantly discovered a whole new world with them.. I got friends..I traveled places, went on adventures with my friends, felt happy with them , felt sad when things didn't go right with them.. Even before I could actually realize, I had fallen for them . If I am asked who was my first dear friend, it was definitely one of those pretty colorful books Mom got for me back then. Gradually colors and images gave way to more text, more characters and longer stories... Even though I was yet to interact with many people in the real world, I started understanding tidbits about human relations in the books. Books taught me, entertained me, kept me busy, kept me happy, made me more humane ...introduced me to a world where I forgot completely that I didn't really have any other living soul besides me.

My Agony Aunts...

I have been an independent person mostly; I like doing things myself, sorting problems myself. Guess how I manage? Books again !!! In Books, they seem to have all kinds of situations in one form or the other- sometimes direct references make you gasp in awe while at other times, one needs to exercise his wits to understand the indirect references out before you in black and white. I always found my books handy..they taught me things which stayed with me sub-consciously and helped me whenever I was in trouble.. So, now you see.. .I indeed have secret genies ;)


My Lovers...


What's love? Who taught me ? Mom and dad definitely did their bit by showing how they loved me :)
But apart from them, my books taught me all about love- the magic, the pain, the pleasure, the battles, the complications and how the feeling of real love is independent of all these and the heart just knows to love the lover.. Whenever I was in an affair, I felt the magic even better..when I lost in love, I knew how to take in the pain and survive.. And I learnt to never stop hoping, never stop loving just coz sometimes in life you encountered people you could have managed without as well.


My Tour Guides... 


Do I love to travel ? Yes... Have I really traveled much ? No. Irony, you say ? Say if you must however I gently beg to differ... I haven't sipped tea sitting on the English countryside... I haven't fallen in love across rivers separating me from my lovers... I haven't trekked to jungles and woke up to the chirping of birds in the wee hours of the morning... I haven't gone about sipping wine in Tuscany or hugged my love tight in the Alps... I haven't been amazed by big temples in Benaras nor I have has the joy of eating apples straight from the orchards in Himachal..but somehow I know I love those...I have traveled places in my books.... And I know I love it :) I haven't lived in several places but have pieces from different cultures are beautifully imbibed in my psyche without me even ever making an effort for the same.. that's the magic of books..



Light at the end of the tunnel ... 


Life is beautiful.. No doubts about that....however, it would be dishonest to say that all moments in life, you feel life's being good to you.. There are way too many instances when life throws lemons at us..sour and not to our liking...we can't help running into such situations.. but what we can have in our control is how we emerge from such situations.. And my books constantly helped me...Whenever I felt alone..helpless...lost...defeated...somewhere in between those pages, I learnt there are troubles bigger than me, joys that I have overseen..emotions worth fighting for...I learnt the battle is not all lost and I can make it :)


Am I done with all my reasons....well, I doubt !!! I shall update this post whenever a new reason comes up on the canvas of my mind :) But one thing never gonna change - My love for books :) I do...and shall continue to do so not until death...but across eternity if that indeed exists :)











Saturday, April 18, 2015

There's no right time to start great things :)

Do I wait to eat that piece of chocolate I have been craving for? Maybe not. Why?  May be because it hardly involves any effort :) But in spite of being a person who loves to read, to write, to observe, I have always been so lazy when it comes to start a blog or rather continue the blog I once had the guts to start when I was a kid :) But not any more... I so wished to start something nice and guess what !!! This's the loveliest thing I can start instantly :) So, I am back and promise not to leave no matter how busy my days get..how tiring my nights tend to be :)

Love needs a little bit of extra effort after all :)  May be I start by compiling few things I scribbled here and there and then new things shall keep flowing in :)

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Apekshaa...thou are evil



There she was …standing all alone staring blankly at the laptop. Was she sad? Or was she just plain confused? Well, going by the young lingo, she seemed as if “Screwed up”.  Apekshaa- no no…we are not giving a reason for her despair or are we? Well, her name was Apekshaa; hope or expectation that’s what the word means, right? When she opened her eyes for the first time in this big weird world, possibly her family instantly associated many of their hopes and expectations with the little creature. And before she could even slightly understand the meaning of the word, she had been named “Apekshaa”. All the typical Hindu rituals were done for the naming ceremony, and perhaps everybody present there wished great things for her or better put it this way, they EXPECTED that she would get all great things. And that was the beginning of her life. She was made to believe that the whole world revolves around expectations. Parents expected her to score high marks and get prizes. Friends expected her to listen to all nonsense they blabbered. Boyfriends expected her to be happy, bubbly and beautiful all the while. Arrgghhhh!!!! Yeah, maybe that’s how she felt too… but then when she talked about it, she was advised to come out of the unreal world and embrace the hard face of reality. She was expected to bear with all this shit because that’s what’s considered practical. Everytime, she was stranded on the crossroads- between her desires and people’s expectations. And being a sweetheart, she mostly chose the expectations route even if that meant lots of heartache. Life went on and somehow she grew up as this creature that is a roaring thunderstorm inside and yet a lyrical poetry to the outside.  What was she thinking? What does Apekshaa want to do, what is her real inclination? Well, nobody really bothered much. And why didn’t she raise her voice? That’s not how good girls are EXPECTED to behave, are they? She was a narcissist, looked cute and in a way, beautiful too. She loved to talk; she loved to help out people. She was the agony aunt for friends. She loved to dress up and go and talk and impress the audience. She wished to explore the world, meet people and draw and write all about her experiences. But then, all these were either too ambitious or just did not fit in with the small town she was in and with the family background she had. She was asked (or FORCED?) to appear for technical entrance exams, and when she failed to clear them, she had to choose the route everyone did. And to make matters worse, sometimes her street-smartness helped her to show a little talent in any field she was thrown into and that reconfirmed the beliefs of all around her that they are doing a good job. But were they? Not really. What happened to all those dreams she had for herself? The fire wasn’t extinguished yet, and was glowing as a little flame somewhere within the deepness of her heart. Many years later, after she had completed her post-graduation, she entered a new city, all on her own. For a moment, she felt like smelling fresh air after years of bondage in some sickly sweet dungeon. She felt a new high. She was free in a way, though not totally. She still had to report every detail to her parents back home, and was EXPECTED to act as per their programmed instructions.  But then, she remembered something…an old adage that says “everything is well that ends well”. Sitting in her little one-room rented accommodation in that big glittering city, she heard voices.  “How about starting something new?” “How about trying to do what you always wanted to”. But then she heard the voices of the opposition parties as well...  “What about mom and dad” “What would you tell them” “It’s almost impossible to convince them, so would you lie to them” “What about money” “How will you manage as a crazy dreamer in this city where money seems to be doing the talking everywhere”  “How will you earn enough for your food, stay and expenses “ “How will you balance out between making ends meet and adding colour to your dreams, that have remained black and white all these years” Too many questions plagued her mind…  A conservative family back home who wanted to see her doing something SUBSTANTIAL, and earning good money… a complicated relationship she was in that seemed to be going nowhere yet she was not gutsy enough to quit it…… too many dreams… too little money…and a BIG city. Just the perfect setting to be CONFUSED, isn’t it? Well, that’s what happened in her case too. She was confused. Thinking to take things one at a time, she looked for a job and found one, good enough just to get her a room and some food. So, there she was this new girl in the city, doing a job, earning few bucks for working long hours and then commuting long way between home and work, and side by side, managing a troubled relationship. But then, she was a crazy little kid; few months in the job, she was bored, did not feel happy about the work. Luckily, she found something else for more bucks too. And with the new job, she went bit distant from the boyfriend too. And gradually, the relationship was over. But again, this job was not really emotionally fulfilling for Ms Apekshaa. She really tried to make it seem interesting, but in vain. And so, the lady left that job too and took up a lesser paying position in a posh locale of the city, EXPECTING her new work environment would give her just right settings for her dreams to take off. But lo! Her excitement went all the way to sub zero levels within a few days at the new place.  Her new position was just like the princess of fairytales captured by the ugly witch in her cavern. She lost all hope… felt cheated… Why do things have to turn out this way?? She kept questioning but to no avail. And within few months, she was forced to quit the job. And some sickly people ensured that her time was wasted by assuring her jobs, they never gave her. Apekshaa became this sad and confused soul, with occasional bouts of excitement and smiles showing up in her eyes.  But yeah, being jobless gave her lots of time to think, introspect and think more. She got to meet other people who had the courage to follow their dreams, even if it meant being rebellious. She felt if they could, may be one day, I can too. But then the optimism failed to add sparkle to her eyes for long… in sometime, she went back to thinking… “How shall I manage without a job” “what to do now” … Such alternation of emotions continued. In the meantime, she got a new friend, who was very supportive with her words of support and her tips to ace diversity. She made another friend… who seemed quite like the way she was and she wouldn’t really mind exchanging places with him. She also was in a sweet romantic relation. But in spite of all that, at times, her mind went all blank…just like in the starting of this story… There she was staring blankly at the laptop screen… What was she thinking? Is it all so bad? Have the recent times been so terrible??? Well….she doesn’t have a clear answer to the last question.  What all have traversed her life in the last few days? She lost her job- terrible. She wouldn’t be getting salary the next month- horrible. She has been home-ridden forcibly because she had nothing else to do; that does sound bit awful, doesn’t it? But then, is that all? How about looking the other way round? She got rid of the witch, she is free now; isn’t that great? She met people from fields she wishes to belong to, and they don’t really disagree that her dreams can come true.  People who matter do think she is a wonderful girl, with multifaceted skill sets. She has it in her to do something different-that’s what she has been told. She has come across wonderful opportunities she had never ever even dreamt of and those projects can start in a few months’ time from now.  She now knows there are many more like her who thought of taking the less-travelled route and still, left a mark. She doesn’t have much cash in her account, but still has tickets to go for a vacation to home and come back. She doesn’t have a job at the moment, but then, she can get one within some time.  She has always been this bubbly chirpy bird who taught about optimism and hope and unconventional thinking to all around her; so, today, when she needs a boost, will she not come to her own rescue? She has something in her that makes people listen to her when she speaks, she has a voice that can soothe an ailing heart, and she has a heart that cares lovingly. She has a brain that can think and analyze, she has eyes that can see beyond the visible and a smile that can make the day bright for anyone who sees it. Then? Why does she have to frown at all? Well, seriously speaking, nothing can justify her sadness now.
There she goes…makes herself a cup of coffee...and goes out on to the roof ….staring all around. It’s a foggy morning. She remembers something… somebody close to her had once said “The day is as foggy as my mind”…a smile just makes its way through her lips. She smiles again. Everything seems so dreamy…The sun is making an entry on the horizon….she sees the rays making their way through the fog. Isn’t that what’s going on in her mind too? She hears the voices again……….
“The fog is there...but the rays are definitely making their way through it … A long way lies ahead and I would walk on it…my dreams await the touch of my brush to spring to life… I got so many things to do... I have to make those kids smile…I have to dance on stage... I have to sing before a live audience… I have to pen down my thoughts...I have to research on human emotions, their perceptions, communications… I have to draw… I have to get on the stage and act in that play… I have to explore the world…oh my!!! So many things to catch up, I can’t waste any time being sad. I am a free happy bird… My wishes shall be my wings as I fly high and reach the sky”
After surrendering to others’ expectations, now, she wishes to live up to her own… Apekshaa… Go and fly my angel…the world is all yours….

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

A letter to Santa :)

Dear Santa,
Do you really exist?? Well, some say yes, some say no...but I prefer to believe it's "yes" :)
coz my christmas went really good :) 
 People many a times doubt your existence with the excuse that it's not practical...
but I beg to differ... I believe in magic, in miracles, in God, and you are His messenger right :) so I gotta trust you :)
Everybody writes letter of wishes to Santa.... I am little late but then..now that christmas celebrations are over, you can go through my letter more comfortably :)
Okay...sooo...coming to my wishes....
ummmmm....

 may every day of mine end with the feeling that "Oh God, I am happy..thank you..bless me always" 
may I never be the reason for anybody becoming sad...
may I spread happiness always...
may my mind stay free of negative emotions ...
may my family be healthy, happy and blessed...
may my relationships be the sweetest and truest :)
may I do justice to all my relationships....

truely speaking...only one thing matters the MOST to me..that is relationships..... I seek your blessings therein... you know the people I love and wish to be loved by ... just bless that happens fullly ... amen..
may my life remain simple and sweet forever..I don't like unnecessary complexities....
I feel happy in small things..just let that prevail forever...
If possible, make this world a little simpler and safer place as well....
and please fulfil the wishes of everybody who's making a goody goody wish :)

What else I ask of thou..I don't know...I think if you fulfil my abovesaid wishes, rest all wishes will come true too :)


Merry Christmas :)
it's 26-12-2012.. 02:49 hours...
yesterday I could not eat the cake ..(due to my fasting :))
but don't worry I AM HAPPY and WANNA BE HAPPY ALWAYS... 
now that's a simple wish..sooo..please fulfil it :)
bbyeee
take care...